FS HOT
STATELESS // FAST // PRIVATE // MINIMAL
FS HOT: pure PHP and CSS, zero JavaScript, zero tracking, 25 years online.
FS HOT explores technology, ideas and everyday life with curiosity, scepticism and a determination to leave the reader a little better informed than when they arrived.
Field Blog
View All →NEWDadfishing (verb)
I am officially inventing a new word: Dadfishing.
The Definition: The act of luring someone into a conversation under the guise of an urgent, serious, or dramatic text message, only to hit them with a terrible dad joke and trap them in a lengthy, unsolicited lecture about niche dad hobbies.
The Anatomy of a Dadfish
1. The Bait: A text that demands immediate attention.
"Please call me as soon as you get this. It’s about the garage."
2. The Hook (The Bad Joke): The dramatic buildup is immediately deflated by a pun.
"It’s completely full of my new lawn mower! Let me tell you about this deck height..."
3. The Reel-In (The Lecture): You are now trapped. You can't escape the ensuing 45-minute breakdown of mechanical specs, the history of the company, or the structural integrity of the grass catcher.
You’ve successfully been dadfished.
NEW🎭 Dick Whittington and Puss in Boots! 🎄
Deakster: “We’re off to London!”
Mocha: “Oh no we’re not! We’re off to the treat cupboard!” 😹🎅
// Deakster
NEWThe Cat Who Loved Me 😎🐾
Operation Blofeld: Licence to Purr.
Deakster and Mocha take on the 1970s Bond villain look. One secret lair, one cream suit, and one very cool cat.
The name’s Mocha. Mocha Blofeld. His mission? World domination. His human? Merely the henchman. 😂
// Deakster
Latest Articles
View All →Free bus rides, a hidden drive on the college server and a very angry system administrator: how our unofficial hacking group finally got into trouble. Part Seven of the story of how I became Deakster.
Published: 29 Oct 2026
Back to the 90s — Part Six: Hacking the College Swipe Card SystemA college attendance system, home-made barcodes and a Kit Kat wrapper that brought the whole thing crashing down. Part Six of the story of how I became Deakster.
Published: 26 Oct 2026
Back to the 90s — Part Five: Fruit Wine and the Information SuperhighwayA spring 1994 weekend at Bradford University: fruit wine, a Mac that spat out floppy disks and my very first glimpse of the web. Part Five of the story of how I became Deakster.
Published: 24 Oct 2026
Free Online Privacy Tools
Use SurfaceScan, our free website privacy scanner, to check a page for visible tracking signals, third-party resources, cookies, and selected security headers.
SurfaceScan™
SurfaceScan™ — audit any website’s privacy exposure for free. Scan any website for trackers, scripts, and hidden exposure.My IP
My IP: address and privacy header checker. Your public IP address, browser, OS, and privacy header status, including Do Not Track (DNT) and Global Privacy Control (GPC).AAF
AAF: Archive.org Album Finder. Search the Internet Archive for complete albums by artist or album name.G2S2
G2S2: Generate Google Search String. Build precision Google search queries to find music files in open directory listings.FS HOT Minesweeper
Play Now →The world's best pure PHP & CSS Minesweeper — built by Deakster at FS HOT. No JavaScript required.
100% Lighthouse score. Zero tracking. Can you top the board?
Play MinesweeperHARD
- 1STSTE 11m 22s
- 2NDSTE 13m 21s
- 3RDDEAKSTER 16m 25s
MEDIUM
- 1STSTE 2m 54s
- 2NDSTE 3m 23s
- 3RDSTE 3m 34s
EASY
- 1STDEAKSTER 13s
- 2NDSTE 14s
- 3RDSTE 14s
System Boot Log
[ OK ]tracking cookies0
[ OK ]analytics scripts0
[ OK ]third-party calls0
[ OK ]javascript bundles0 kb
[ OK ]google lighthouse100
[ OK ]built and maintained by deakstersince 2001
cat MANIFEST.TXT
No Tracking — Ever
FS HOT uses zero tracking cookies, zero analytics scripts, and zero surveillance. No data is collected, stored, or sold. Your privacy is absolute.
Lightning Fast
Pure PHP and CSS — no JavaScript bundles, no bloated frameworks, no third-party calls. Pages load in milliseconds and score 100 on Google Lighthouse.
25+ Years by Deakster
FS HOT has been built and maintained by Deakster since 2001 — focused, privacy-respecting tools for people who value control over their data online.